God,u do reply my ans.=)

God,thanks for let me know what m i going to do next... it really is a long prayer.. but...finally i get the answer for u. And finally ,i know what i want.. I go form 6 because is what my mum wants...besides this reason,i really cannot find any reason... Through a year,i m sure that i m grew up a lot... now just hope that u ll keep leading me & just go for it...

I m admit that this few weeks are the most terrible week for me..keep thinking.. but at last i got the answer,and knew what i want... i feel v relieve is when my gud fren are suporting me when i telling them about my plan..if i apply succesfully,i will tel u guys early... especially felicia and chee wei... I m really great that i can know u guys....=)

and this few days also are the most happiest,because i found someone that i can rely for...what i want to say is...Thank u!! you are really great for me,tortoise..=)

^^

Today is a special day!!

用十分钟来思考...不会后悔...

当令你快乐的一切不再令你快乐，当令你悲哀的一切不再令你悲哀，甚至激怒你的一切不再激怒你的时候，是不是很可怕？ 一位哲学家曾说这是苍老。

再想起你的名字，你的笑，你的一切，都只能加上一个‘曾经的’。。。

再想起我们在一起的事，也只能加上一个‘曾经的’....

有些感情像指甲，剪掉了还会重生，无关痛痒。而有些感情像牙齿，失去以后用有个疼痛的伤口无法补回。

不见面不等于不思念，不联络只是为了掩饰眷恋。

有些人脸上太多笑是因为他们心中有太多眼泪。

人生有一个地方，有一个人，在这个人面前，可以不必要出息，可以不必有形象，可以全身是弱点，这是知己。

每个人在每个阶段得做每个阶段的事，就算怀念，都得离开。

只有你不想放下，没有你放不下的。

很多人，很多事，原本是熟悉的，以为明天可以续。于是转过身暂时放下，想的事明白又将重聚的希望。太阳落下去又重新升起以前，那些事，就不可能在经历；那些人。就从此与你永别了。

有时又不知道真相，不了解本质的人，是快乐的，而能够假装不知道真相，不了解本质的人，却是幸福的。

就像一个热闹的party刚刚结束，人走了，灯灭了，黑暗中就只剩你一个人.......

人有时就需要寂寞中才有自省，只有从喧闹走入寂寞，在会专注自己的心灵。

对的时间，遇见对的人，是一生的幸福。

对的时间，遇见错对的人，是一场心伤。

错的时间，遇见错对的人，是一场荒唐。

错的时间，遇见对的人，是一生叹息。

生命中不断有人离开或进入。于是，看见的，看不见的；记住的，遗忘了，生命中不断有得到或失落，于是，看不见的，是不是就等于不存在了？记住的，是不是永远不消失?

一直不愿意承认你是我生命中的过客。

现只希望每个人都能用于踏出第一步，活出自己最喜欢的生活，勇敢地往前走....

Repair...!! =)

Lol...today feel v happy...

coz....our relationship is coonected back..& know wad s happening... hope we four can friendship forever ya...

coz we have the strongest bond among us..

Everything ll b alright... u know who m i talkin with...

if u are one of them.. Lol....

yo,let us happily pass through this year..

&

let it become the most precious memory for form 6 life...

It s no regret to know u all...

Thank u all for accompany me to pass through my form 6 life..^^

Exploring....

Lol...everyone says life is getting tougher... Well,when think another ways,it s getting challenging and more thing to explore in our life...

sometimes will feel that time isnt enough,there s too much thing to do with in a day..but, now i believe that when u handle all the thing to God,there s nothing impossible. U know,i accept a lot of challenges this year. I want try my best without keep relyin on someone. I m the vice president of ISCF(Interschl chinese fellowship). I also join sidang redaksi as editor. Besides that,now we have to do a community project for kk point and R&D(Research n deveploment). and i have to sit for my diploma piano exam on aug.Getting busier... we cannot do anything just depend on ourself,just pass it to God, let him lead u... I m sure u also ll feel like what i felt too...

So,add oil...

just rely on God,

u can get a maximum power that u never got before...^^

Scissors...

Just like father kho said,

all the unhappy,all the thing tat stop us to get more nearer to god...

just let it go,

if it s the sad or unworth thing

then just cut of it....

now we should move forward,

we should not let the thing that already passed blocked our way...

just now got a brother share a little message..

What is happiness?

we keep think that happiness is the time that when we get the thing we want...

happiness is....in the future,we caught our dream...

seriously,it is not...

It always around us...

Just we didnt notice about it...
Sometimes,we should try to have a rest,

and notice,there is little little thing build up happiness

no matter is between friends,family, couple or others....

But i know that, today god pass a msg to me..

no no,should be the ans that i keep looking for..

Dont worry too much,if that s the thing i want,then just go for it...

There s nothing to worry about...

just be brave!!!

because God ll always with me & lead me...

Thank u..

累....

突然觉得好累....

身心灵都觉得好无力...

想起今年所发生的事，却想不起又是那么开心的事...

为什么会这样子，

朋友也一个一个的去外地读书，要不是就很难见得到面...

明年又是一个很忙得一年，虽然很充实，

但....

又有点害怕自己不能应付...

其实知道自己一点也不够勇敢，不够自信....

何时我才会找到这些...

大家都渐渐地长大

不禁怀疑自己是否也长大了,

还是还停留在那里....

常常祷告，长期求神能让我知道我该怎么走....

但好像现在还不是时候知道...

有时真的觉得好累...

真的不知道那里找加油站了....

好累...

Confirmed Answer....!!!

It s good that i knw a confirmed answer.. LOl..thanks for hui fung ask me go to view his profile..now everything is stated & proved...
you 're liar...

How stupid m i......

Actually i already ever guess it..just myself stupid....keep waiting the miracle could happen...

Now just hope u 2 can together happily...and dont appear in my sight again... coz we dont have any thing can talk about..SEriously & honestly...

百感交集

Just now i went to a dinner with my mum...it s a t~io jiu gong hui celebrate their 55th aniversary..

Guess what~~.

i saw my tradional dancing group friends..they are performing.seriously..i joined it when i 5 years old until 16 years old... It s long,right? when watching them dance,i feel times pass really fast... some of frineds dy go overseas and study or stop dancing.. But some still inside.. a lot of sweet memory and all flashback appear in my mind..feel like wanna to go back and dance with them.. BUt..i think quite impossible...coz i loss my tradisional feel le...and feel paiseh le.

Besides that,i got walked to the backstage and have a tok with them..haha...my teacher,chai lao shi,didnt changed much...she stil v pretty and looks young although already give birth.. And stil got take 2 pics with my fren... the most amazing thing is.......when i m 12 years old,i ever act as a monkey coz tat year is a monkey year,then i gt hug a little gal... Just know she recognised me and she dy reach my mouth.... oh gosh,tat time she stil soooo small, just a little kid and now dy so big, and stil recognise me..feel so happyand touch..ahha..
Time really flies v fast..and it wont wait for anyone... morever,now is the end of this year....when thinking back,there is really a lot of memory and things happened around us... Do ever tried hard in something? Ever give out thing easily? Now we should tidy up our emotions and mood... and waving hand to the pass...

19 dec 2009 saturday

Anyone can tell me how to be strong and wont soft hearted?

I wondering am i too easy to believe a people?

Sometimes i do really feel tired and not happy at all....=(

*.*?

today is my last performance at cold storage. Actually planned to meet my dar,hui fung but at last...dindt manage to meet up..haiz.. And i didnt go to crown to support my fren..today they having 2nd round dancing competition. when one of my dancing fren call me,i feel quite guilty coz dindt go support them.. hmm...sorry.. and i also didnt followed them to santubong for 3 days 2nights. Coz my mum sure not allow me to go... And all of them going are couples,dont feel wanna do a big bulb.. this is one of the reason..
Dont know feel tired le,although 10.09 only...

NEW day

Finally..Today feel so happy and cherish.. finally i can let it go although sometimes ll miss him.. But i know that the guy i loved before already not here... There have more things waiting for me..i know God is keep leading me..

I know i can do it. I have to keep on moving, coz i still have my friends and family with me. Thanks god,u let me realised this.

Suddenly feel so happy and all my stress relieved..

I want say thank u to my best friends that keep accompany with me and encourage me..

Lilian,

thanks for accompany with me when i dropping tears in front of com. stil remember that u ask me to take it easy.

xiong,

I got what u said. yeah,is true,i need time to step out and have a wider view. And i do trust that god have a better plan on me,just need time to prove it.Now i really got it.

yong hui jie,

I knew that jie actually also feel unhappy but stil need consolate me.Jie,thank u. Add oil...God ll keep accompany with u. Just keep on praying and trust god...I m sure he ll lead u..

xiao yang,

i dont feel regret to tell u my relationship stuff although is the 1st time. what u told me tat night, i wont forget...

Adrian,

hey...u should be proud coz u r the 1st guy tat heard me cried til so tiam through the phone. Lol..know tat u dont know how to consolate me,just can keep hearing me talk useless thing,and cant move forward... But,i do really need that..thanks for keep supporting me..

Hui fung,

Eh, didnt forget u..haha..my dar dar...thank u... I still remember that u ever praised me. U said my condition so good,sure can find a better one..is u let me realised that he changed a lot...he is not the person that we knew before.You really is my best friend since form 4. really feel happy to know u this best friend.And i miss u a lot..nearly one year didnt saw u...

chia wen & joanne

U two are my best friends since form 1. err..no,i knew chia wen was form 2. But,really thank for everything. wen,i trust tat u also can. Just tell yourself that you can!!! all the thing between u and him already is a pass. Now what should do is keep on moving forward,prove to him that without him,u stil can and is he should feels regret,not u...

this is what i got...

Joanne,thanks for your big hug when i sad. It really means a lot to me..

chia Xin,

i know that actually u quite care about your friends just u dont know how to react. And thanks for your words. seriously,i never thought of u ll encourage me and become quite friend with u... and can have a heart talk with u...

and lots more that i dindt mentioned here...

without u guys,i couldnt imagined what ll happened... is u guys give me the motivation to move forward... I want to give u all a big hug & thank u!! ^^

yup,it already pass...

Tomorrow is a new day and hope...

The Conclusion....I 've got it!!!

Lol...finally i know why. Finally i found out by myself...lol...i keep asking but no one give me any answer. I know why u never reply me,i know y u ll bluff me so much and give so "nice" reason. because of a gal..Since she already admit u are her bf by using ur english name in writing of chinese at her facebook profile.. and the time she admits is the time u say those "reason" to me.. now i just realised how stupid am i... waiting for so long..keep believing u stil the same...the same granpa that i knew..

But....i m wrong...

U really not the granpa that i know,

u ever is the best for me,

u ever is the one that i loved a lot,

u ever is the one i trust a lot,

u ever is the one that keep with me no matter what happened...

Now....u are not anymore....

he....already died...

This is the first itme i mentioned your name here & also is the last time...

Ambrose,

You arent belong to me anymore...

because ur heart is at somewhere else...

i wont trust u anymore.. not again...

I think this is the time for me to be cruel....

Thanks for giving me so much sweet momories...

Appreciate a lot..

& do really appreaciate ur bluffing...

I wont be soft hearted anymore...

& this is the lesson u gave to me...

Now i dont want to become that stupid again...

Thanks for everything no matter there are good or bad things...

............

why......

WHY!!!!

在这个时刻，想你的心一样没变....

好想大声告诉你我有多么的想你，很想见到你...

你真的好残忍,为什么这么自私...

但, 这些都只能往内心里埋起来

因知道你不会回来了....

只能让一切沉淀下来...

何时我才能变回以前带有欢笑的我...

期待....

Finally....

Break record!!!

Lol...i already 6 days dindt touched my com...woots!! & tat y i couldnt update my blog... As usual,the 1st thing i seacrh is facebook when i can online...and start checkin my farmville,cafe world,walls and comment..and...i wun forget to check his profile.. haiz... i had to admit that i really addicted to facebook..=.= All my photos,songs,important documents loss....All my memories photos gone...>.<

Last night,i was out of controlled again....my mood was down..and missing him a lot..i drop into my memories again..& i done a stupid thing..i msg him n told him how much i miss him.. bt the conclusion stil the same,he didnt replied... lol..sometimes really feel myself like a stupid. now i truly understand the feeling of waiting without knowing what that person thking about is so hard... I m really...tired......& miss him a lot... After u had read tiz,u sure ll feel that i m useless...

Lazyness...

i getting lazy than before... lazy to study..lazy to practice piano... haiz...if i keep like that,i cant imagine what colud happen..besides that,my piano teacher wants me to have my dip practical exam on aug next year... i really scared that i cant manage to prepare it well...and next year i have to sit for my stpm...hope i can mamge my time well & MOre disiplin...>.<

A worth camp i had....=)

Lol...thanks god.i have learnt a lot of thing through this camp. Thanks god for let me know that u always be there for me,and let me find back the heart for worship and only seeking for u..Lord,u are the only one who know us well,i m sorry that this few months i loss my track and forget i should concentrate on u.. Lord,thanks for everything. I know what i should do know...realy thanks a lot... It is ht eimt e for let me put down everything to continue move on. I know u ll always guide me and show what u want to prove to me... Well,through this camp,i also know that my immune system not as good as b4... because the last day i didnt play and have fun with them at camp permai,i just rest n sleep due to nt feeling well,should be say is 贫血..=.=.... Time stil moving on,while we should keep moving on too... Got to rest now,stil feel v dizzy...><

Santubong!!! Camp permai!!

Tomorrow i ll going to a church camp. 2 days one night...we had planned that we few gang dont wan sleep whole night..woots,dont know ll able tahan or not.. lol.. & we plan want to watch ri chu(opposite of sun set) ehh...suddenly forget what s the word..=.= sun rise? 2nd day we ll go to camp permai and play the NS stuff...
Finally... i m waiting it since the begining of the year because i can throw all the unhappy thing and enjoy in the camp. I hope through this camp,i can know what i should do for my next step.. pray that god can give me a clearer vision or tell me what should i do..coz i really dont know what should i do now... so miserable now... Studies,relationship stuff,weakness,confidence,and so on...haiz....now i have to just wait for god's answer... Wait PAtIENtlY...!!!!
10 more hours to the camp... wuhoo..finally....^^

...

一切的思念都只能藏在心里，

没人能了解...

总觉得痛，

难以释怀.....

真的....

很不习惯一个人的空气....

Thunder shock

Just found out....he...gt a new one..if not wrong... Luking at few of his photos....he quite close with one gal...since i knew him so long,i think i gonna b right... Now..feel like v painful..can hear the cracking sound... feel wanna to cry..but...like no more tears le... feel so speechless..... So tired...who can help me? Please.....It is so.....painful.... Like cant breath anymore..no more oxygen for me...

...

FOcUS!!
CoNcEntrAtE!!!

Pray

Until

Something

Happen!!!

Dear Lord,i know that u never will leave me...

just let me focus on u..

concentrate on u!!