23 August 2013, Friday 跌倒了

原来跌倒的代价是我负担不起的...

除了心痛和无奈还有什么...
我只能承认我失败了，
还要继续很坚强的面对接下来的考试，
我一定要熬过....

我...人生中第一个即将会不及格的科目...
奖学金，
再见了...
对不起，爸妈，
我竟然让你们担心，
让你们失望...

应该最难过的关还是
我不能原谅我自己反这样的错吧...
渐渐的不知道我的目标是什么，
失去了方向....

16 March 2013

经历了很多丛朋友变成陌生人，
学会了，
可能交少朋友会比较好吧。

世界上没有真正了解你的朋友，
人类，不是站在你的角度去想，
而是以他们的出发点，
以他们的理解能力，
殊不知人类的理解能力，
也只喜欢听到自己喜欢听的答案
如果不是，
就会又自己的理解能力篇出一个答案。
让自己觉得舒服，罪恶感少一点...
而我...也是人类...

你在乎一段友情，并不代表人家也是，
在乎的分量也不一样。
有人说心若累了，受伤害了，
就把心封闭起来，自己治疗，
我....
相信这一半对的。
因为有可能再也好不起来了...

原来这就是烂好人的结果...
我学到了...
累，心酸，失望，眼泪，
这些就是你的奖赏...

is heavy for me,
really more than i can suffer,
teach me how,
i just dont know what to do
why black can become white?
people ever told me that is is ok to do something that u are comfortable,
but why now i cant,
can just stop it..

回忆总是美好的，我又想起我们以前的时光， 好久没有被人呵护，被人疼，

原来我的舞台上，你出现太多了，到处都有你的影子，

原来独立一点都不好，

伤心，疲乏，开心，失望，

都要自己杠...

disappointed

this is the 1st time i felt that my personal charcteristic been suspected by friend.
lol...ridiculous..

made me feel so disappointed and dnt know what to do..

honestly, cause of this, i cried silently for few days, 

maybe i just treat friendship too important, 

i m just feel tired,

 i wish i can move out as fast as possible,

eventhough i just stay here for about 2 weeks plus,

people doesnt like complicated relationship (well, i mean friendship)

so do i..

sometimes i just feel helpless..

i dont know who should i trust, i just so scare..

what m i going to do..

finally, i just understand what's the feeling of being not trusted and helpless

i...

just...

tired and lost..

do u trust me, anyone?

i started to lost, i dont know what is my real personal characteristics? 

am i a lier?

i dont know whether all i done isit correct or false? 

no one understand me..

Lord, i just tired, 

i just wish there is a shoulder for me to cry out loud,

i just wish there is a person beside me that said' i trust you'

anyone willing to lent me your shoulder? 

i just cant cry in front of people, isnt mean tat i the one who dont care others feeling,

isnt mean that i m the one who always hurt people?

why no people understand and ever think of why m i doing all these?

i just.....

disappointed...

aww, raining comes again..

i wish that sunny day comes..

but..

who can brings it to me..

如果....

如果我真的生重病，怎么办？
最近从动了手术，身体就一直生病，与我做抗，
已经有好几天没有睡好了，
胃胀，胃痛，
而现在轮到我腰后部那两部分， 开始疼痛，
一旦平躺，站着，走路，都会痛，
那个部位很靠近脊椎骨，很好象是两颗肾的位置...
难道，这就是我平时不喝水，不照顾身体的后果来找我了吗？
难道，真的亮红灯了吗？
难道我做的最坏打算到了吗?
我真的很害怕...
我...真的很怕...