百感交集

Just now i went to a dinner with my mum...it s a t~io jiu gong hui celebrate their 55th aniversary..

Guess what~~.

i saw my tradional dancing group friends..they are performing.seriously..i joined it when i 5 years old until 16 years old... It s long,right? when watching them dance,i feel times pass really fast... some of frineds dy go overseas and study or stop dancing.. But some still inside.. a lot of sweet memory and all flashback appear in my mind..feel like wanna to go back and dance with them.. BUt..i think quite impossible...coz i loss my tradisional feel le...and feel paiseh le.

Besides that,i got walked to the backstage and have a tok with them..haha...my teacher,chai lao shi,didnt changed much...she stil v pretty and looks young although already give birth.. And stil got take 2 pics with my fren... the most amazing thing is.......when i m 12 years old,i ever act as a monkey coz tat year is a monkey year,then i gt hug a little gal... Just know she recognised me and she dy reach my mouth.... oh gosh,tat time she stil soooo small, just a little kid and now dy so big, and stil recognise me..feel so happyand touch..ahha..
Time really flies v fast..and it wont wait for anyone... morever,now is the end of this year....when thinking back,there is really a lot of memory and things happened around us... Do ever tried hard in something? Ever give out thing easily? Now we should tidy up our emotions and mood... and waving hand to the pass...

19 dec 2009 saturday

Anyone can tell me how to be strong and wont soft hearted?

I wondering am i too easy to believe a people?

Sometimes i do really feel tired and not happy at all....=(

*.*?

today is my last performance at cold storage. Actually planned to meet my dar,hui fung but at last...dindt manage to meet up..haiz.. And i didnt go to crown to support my fren..today they having 2nd round dancing competition. when one of my dancing fren call me,i feel quite guilty coz dindt go support them.. hmm...sorry.. and i also didnt followed them to santubong for 3 days 2nights. Coz my mum sure not allow me to go... And all of them going are couples,dont feel wanna do a big bulb.. this is one of the reason..
Dont know feel tired le,although 10.09 only...

Should I?

I had a orhestra performance at spring about 7.30pm. Seriously,i didnt did it with my best. Then i rushed to choir practice. when i walked to back stage,i saw IMH academy higher learning student and teacher,the 1st thing came to my mind when saw them was scared...because i dont know that can i help or join CMC orhestra because i still learning piano and cello at orhestra.

At that time i dont know should i go up stage and perform with them. Seriously i quite scare,and that few higher learning students and teacher knew me. Well, it already happened.. Tomorrow night still got one more performace at cold storage. Haiz...mayb after this,i think i should quit. Coz dont feel good to both side,neither IMH nor CMC...

NEW day

Finally..Today feel so happy and cherish.. finally i can let it go although sometimes ll miss him.. But i know that the guy i loved before already not here... There have more things waiting for me..i know God is keep leading me..

I know i can do it. I have to keep on moving, coz i still have my friends and family with me. Thanks god,u let me realised this.

Suddenly feel so happy and all my stress relieved..

I want say thank u to my best friends that keep accompany with me and encourage me..

Lilian,

thanks for accompany with me when i dropping tears in front of com. stil remember that u ask me to take it easy.

xiong,

I got what u said. yeah,is true,i need time to step out and have a wider view. And i do trust that god have a better plan on me,just need time to prove it.Now i really got it.

yong hui jie,

I knew that jie actually also feel unhappy but stil need consolate me.Jie,thank u. Add oil...God ll keep accompany with u. Just keep on praying and trust god...I m sure he ll lead u..

xiao yang,

i dont feel regret to tell u my relationship stuff although is the 1st time. what u told me tat night, i wont forget...

Adrian,

hey...u should be proud coz u r the 1st guy tat heard me cried til so tiam through the phone. Lol..know tat u dont know how to consolate me,just can keep hearing me talk useless thing,and cant move forward... But,i do really need that..thanks for keep supporting me..

Hui fung,

Eh, didnt forget u..haha..my dar dar...thank u... I still remember that u ever praised me. U said my condition so good,sure can find a better one..is u let me realised that he changed a lot...he is not the person that we knew before.You really is my best friend since form 4. really feel happy to know u this best friend.And i miss u a lot..nearly one year didnt saw u...

chia wen & joanne

U two are my best friends since form 1. err..no,i knew chia wen was form 2. But,really thank for everything. wen,i trust tat u also can. Just tell yourself that you can!!! all the thing between u and him already is a pass. Now what should do is keep on moving forward,prove to him that without him,u stil can and is he should feels regret,not u...

this is what i got...

Joanne,thanks for your big hug when i sad. It really means a lot to me..

chia Xin,

i know that actually u quite care about your friends just u dont know how to react. And thanks for your words. seriously,i never thought of u ll encourage me and become quite friend with u... and can have a heart talk with u...

and lots more that i dindt mentioned here...

without u guys,i couldnt imagined what ll happened... is u guys give me the motivation to move forward... I want to give u all a big hug & thank u!! ^^

yup,it already pass...

Tomorrow is a new day and hope...

13 dec 2009 Sunday

Today is my 2nd time lead praise n workship at 12th mile 伊甸园. Nice try...seriously..i stil ahve to improve myself.. Next year I ll continue leading it... and start play piano too... next year 2010 is the challenging year that i ever had.. Add oil...

Thank u....

Finally....I think no long i can publish out my blog...now still count as writing secretly... =.= only few of my good friends know about it...I do promise that when i can let go and wont looking backward again,i will let my friends know about my blog...i dont want to let them know that actually i m so......useless.... haiz..

I trust myself that can walk out from it...

thanks god for lead me when i m sad..

and got a lot of friends with me when i m unhappy...

I wont feel any loneliness or unhappiness,

becaosue i got dearest God and my best friendSss with me..

Thank u,everyone..!!!

Lady of night?! woots..

Just now i went to crown square to see my team having their competition. Honestly,i never thought of dance on stage which i used to be... suddenly there is a activity that choosing 10 audience come out n have to solo dance to get a free ticket for the final competition. Well,it costs RM25. I been choosen by the MC. This should be the 1st time i solo on the stage. And it was 2 mins... It was long.

goshh...1st time..and i m the 1st one who solo... NERVOUS... I tried cool down myself and tried to dance well.. honestly i dont know what i had danced... but when i finished,the MC told me that :'christina...u 're the lady of night.U should join this competition,and u can dance sexy dance...'

woots...quite happy when heard it..But when i finished my solo part,i could felt that my legs is shaking and my hands were cold... Of course,i got my free ticket..^^

besides that,my friend also said i got improvement,but i dont think so..because i already 3 months didnt danced..=.= i knew they hoped that i could came back..but...seriously..i think i got more dreams to go for..

hmm...that s all for today..thanks for giving the chance to step on the stage again..and had the 1st experience solo on stage..^^

About my own problem which i kept mentioned,i already tried to let go...although still will missing him...somehow,i believe that i can release myself from the darkness...

1.15am...it s late...got to sleep...good nite,my friends..